Finding the Friends You Deserve
It is important to identify what makes a good friend to help ensure that you are surrounding yourself with genuine people who will support you in good and bad times. With good friends, you should feel great about yourself and be happy to be with them.
A good friend is someone who…
- You like, respect and trust and who likes, respects and trusts you.
- May not always understand you, but accepts and likes you for who you are, even when you’re not at your best.
- Knows how to deal with your quirks and faults.
- Rolls with the punches as you grow and change.
- Cares about you and is interested in what is going on in your life.
- Allows you space to change, grow, make independent decisions and even make mistakes.
- Forgives you if you make a mistake.
- Listens to you and shares with you, both in good times and bad.
- Respects your need for confidentiality.
- Lets you freely express your feelings and emotions without judgment, teasing or criticizing.
- Gives you good advice when you want and ask for it, assists you in taking action that will help you feel better and works with you in difficult times to figure out what to do next.
- Lets you help them with they need it.
- You want to be with, but you aren’t obsessed about being with.
- Doesn’t ever take advantage of you.
- Supports you and your goals.
- Sticks with you in good times and bad and is loyal to your friendship.
- You can have fun with.
Think about your close friendships. Do your friends treat you like this? Do you treat your friends like this?
Friendships may have different depths and different people may provide different forms of support including, practical support, advice or information, companionship and emotional support. All these forms of support are valuable, especially during hard times. Always take the time to thank your friends for supporting you, and make sure to be there for them too!
- Wesley Aug 5th
This is an excellent post. Thank you. Good friends are so hard to come by these days. I have a few that dropped me like a bad habit once they progressed farther than me in life. They seemed like good friends at the time, but all of a sudden, stopped talking or returning my phone calls. You can say that some of them were taking advantage of me. You can also say that I might have been obssessed with their friendship. Yes, but I have a few good friends that still treat me with kindness and forgive me for my faults. All three of them have children and two of them have significant others, with one looking for a new mate. This means that they won't have much time to spend with me so I enjoy hanging out the few times I can. Thanks for posting this, hope to see more "advice column" style posts in the future. :D
- Jamie Aug 7th
I have about 2 close friends that fit all of those qualifications. Due to experiences in the past, I don't let people close to me very much. However, I do have friends who have fought through my walls. I'm thankful for them and treat them with all the kindness, respect and love I have in my heart. I try to be a friend I'd like to have. The best thing about my current friends is that they stick with me when things are really bad; they practically refuse to leave me and I can't believe I could be that lucky.
Thanks for the list!