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Check out these FAQs from friends and family members on how they can best support loved ones living with a mental health condition and themselves. Answers include tips on expressing concerns, helping a friend or family member, coping, maintaining healthy relaitonships, setting boundaries and expectations and remaining mentally healthy.

What is a mental health condition?

A mental health condition causes changes in thought, mood and/or behavior.
Mental health conditions often make it hard to cope with ordinary demands and routines.
Mental health conditions can be triggered by a variety of causes, including a stressful situation or series of events, another illness, genetics, biochemical imbalances or a combination of those factors.

I care about someone with a mental health condition. What can I do to help?

Accept the diagnosis without placing blame.
Educate yourself. Learn the facts about symptoms and treatment to alleviate your fear.
Remember, despite symptoms, this is the same person you care for.
Know that there is help and hope for your loved one.
Continue to offer love and support.

How can I best support family members and friends living with mental health conditions?

Be willing to talk honestly, without judgment, shame or blame.
Encourage them to openly communicate with their treatment team.
Invite and include them in activities that have always been fun--understand though that sometimes these activities may be overwhelming.
Be an example of safe and healthy living.
Learn new and healthy ways to spend time together.

What can I do if I am concerned about a family member or friend?

Write down the behaviors or actions that worry you. Be as specific as possible.
At a time when you both are calm and comfortable, share your list and the fact that these are symptoms of a condition that can be treated.
If your family member or friend already has a mental health diagnosis, encourage a return visit to the doctor.
If no diagnosis has been made, stress the fact that these symptoms require medical assessment and treatment.

What should I do if a family member or friend is experiencing a psychiatric crisis?

If danger is imminent, call 911 and tell the operator that this is a psychiatric emergency. Ask for a trained response team.
If he or she is not a threat to himself, herself or others, call the responsible person, contact a health care provider and/or seek immediate medical attention.

What should I watch for in myself to remain mentally healthy?

Many mental health conditions are genetic and run in families. If you have a family history of mental health conditions, avoid drugs and alcohol. They can trigger the illness.
If you’re worried about your own mental health, keep a daily log or journal of your concerns. Talk to friends, family, a therapist or health care provider about your concerns.
Learn the symptoms and signs of the onset of a mental health condition and monitor yourself for these. Confide in someone you trust and ask them to tell you if you exhibit these symptoms or behaviors.
To maintain good mental health, eat a well-balanced diet, get at least 30 minutes of physical exercise every day, sleep eight or more hours each night and avoid drugs and alcohol.

How can I have healthy relationships with family members and friends living with a mental health condition?

Offer practical help. Drive them to or be present at appointments
Give respect. Honor their need for, and right to, privacy. Always treat them with dignity and respect regardless of circumstance.
Establish a support network.Seek your own support from family and friends. Self-help and support groups also provide an opportunity to talk with others in similar situations.
Take time out.Pursuing your own interests will help you remain patient and compassionate. You can only help others when you are physically and emotionally healthy.
Maintain hope.There is hope for recovery, and with treatment, many people with mental health conditions lead happy, productive and fulfilled lives.

How can I prevent these relationships from being all about the mental health condition?

Participate in normal, fun activities together. Watch movies, play games, go for walks and engage in related activities.
Establish “no health talk” times.
Work together on necessary tasks, such as cooking, grocery shopping and gardening.
Create routines and schedules that encourage living a well and healthy life.

What should I expect from these relationships?

Relationships with anyone, regardless of their medical status, should be respectful, kind, supportive and mutually beneficial.
Moods are affected by mental health conditions, so if your relationship is difficult when someone is unstable, remember that its symptoms. Try not to judge or react harshly.
Work on reestablishing appropriate behaviors when their health improves.

What skills or strategies will help me deal with family members or friends with a mental health condition?

Show compassion. Being diagnosed with a mental health condition can be scary and confusing. Some people are relieved by a diagnosis and actively seek treatment; others may be devastated, ashamed or in denial.


Encourage your loved one to learn about treatments and services. Remind them that finding the right treatment, services and supports takes time and involves some trial and error.
 

Practice “active listening.” Listen and then express your understanding back. Acknowledge his or her feelings. Don’t discount them, even if you believe them to be symptoms of the illness.
 

Understand medication challenges. Side effects often make people want to stop taking their medicine. Urge them to continue on medication but to be sure to talk to the health care provider about making necessary adjustments.
 

Know that recovery isn’t just about staying on medication. Self-esteem, social and peer support, maintaining hope and contributing to society are essential elements of recovery.
 

Learn to cope with changes in mood and/or behavior. People with mental health conditions sometimes exhibit challenging behaviors. If the behavior becomes extreme and concerning, notify trusted friends and family and consider alerting a health care provider. This information can lead to more effective treatment. 

What are appropriate boundaries for these relationships and how do I set them?

Discuss how you hope to treat your friend or family member and how you expect to be treated.
 

Agree on a format for solutions when these expectations are not met.
 

Plan and stick to individual, separate activities as well as “together time.”
 

Respect each other’s privacy and work together on times or topics that are off limits.
 

Do not tolerate self injury, violence or abuse of any kind. If they occur, alert others who can help so that this does not happen again. This may be a trusted friend or family member or others working with the person.
 

Safety is a top priority. If you question whether your friend or family member is safe, get help. Call another trusted friend or family member, contact a health care provider or call 911 if this is a life threatening emergency.
 

Expect that your relationship will be kind, supportive and loving. Always work toward that goal.

Developed by Kate McLaughlin, author of Mommy I’m Still in Here: One family’s Journey with Bipolar Disorder and professional mental health speaker.